Updated: Jul 17
In high school, I wasn't much of a bookworm. I never read books at all. I never did homework. I slept in class. That's if I even made it to class. By the beginning of grade 10, I hardly went to school at all. I lived with my father and he worked 12-hour days. He left for work at 4:30 in the morning and didn't get home until 6:30 at night. So I was home most of the day by myself. I got myself up and ready for the day and I did my own thing. He would call me at 6:30 every morning to wake me up and ask "are you going to school today?" I'd either say yeah I'm up, I'm ready, I'm going, or I'd make up some excuse like I had period cramps or I just didn't feel well. Sometimes I would just say I was tired or some ridiculous excuse. On the odd day in which I did manage to get my ass out of bed for school, I would typically take the lunch money my dad would leave me on the table, and use it to take two buses to school, which was a 10-minute walk. Then I would get off of the bus, and go into the school cafeteria where I would buy a chocolate chip cookie that was the size of my hand. After which I'd turn around hop back on the bus and go back home. I did this so often I can't even tell you how many times, I lost count. Other times, my best friend would come over in the morning to "walk" to school with me. She lived on the same floor as me with her mom. Her mom used to watch us off of her balcony to make sure we were walking to school. We would walk so far till she couldn't see us anymore, then as soon as her mom went inside the door, we would turn around and head to Tim Hortons for breakfast. Instead of a typical breakfast, we instead opted for a large creamy broccoli soup with a cheddar tea biscuit to dip. After which we went back to my house. Remember how I said we lived on the same floor? In this case, we had to be smart, so we would get off on the 10th floor, and walk quietly up the stairs to the 11th floor, and snuck into my apartment, all so her mother wouldn't catch us skipping school. I even got smart enough that I figured out the exact time of day the school would call my house to report me absent. I would stay home, and at 7 pm I would make sure to answer that phone on the first ring, Claiming it was a wrong number. My Dad did catch on, especially when the school put me on a contract to have signed daily. That didn't last long. One day My Dad called me from work to wake me up at which point he said, "I don't know why I'm bothering to call, not like you're going to go anyway. Are you going to school today?" I said "no". This time he said "Okay you know what? I give up! Do whatever you want, it's your life. I can't make you. I'm not there to push you out the door." I was almost 16 years old at this time, the school didn't charge me for not going to school. I was allowed to do pretty much whatever I wanted. You could legally quit school at 16 years old in Canada back in 2002. Today however you must be 18 to avoid being charged with truancy. After a few months of sitting around at home and my dad nagging me to get a job, I decided to go back to school. I didn't go back to my regular high school. I went to an alternative school where I went to class twice a week for 2 hours each time. After repeating grade 9 applied math 3 times, I finally passed it. Yay me, right? Just before starting my second class, I met a guy, then I quit again.
Fast forward 14 years and four kids later, I decided once again to head back to school. However this time I older, wiser, and a role model. I was more determined than ever to graduate. I didn't have well thought out plan. I just kind of winged it. First I had to find daycare, then I had to fix my schedule so that it corresponded with my priority motherhood. It was far from easy. When I first signed up I went to the guidance counselor at my neighborhood adult school and he recommended that I take a couple of human sciences courses to start. According to the guidance counselor, they were the easiest classes to get my foot in the door. I only had seven credits, I needed 30 to graduate. I was never great at testing, so I knew I couldn't study for the GED. I could study and study and study but when it came down to it my mind would draw a blank come test day. Instead, I chose to do it credit by credit. The first three classes I signed up for were grade 10 applied math grade 11 anthropology sociology and psychology class and some type of parenting class. I know you're thinking why parenting I already had four kids, well duh I thought I'd for sure get an A+. I already knew this stuff right? Wrong! Sure I knew how to feed a baby and change a diaper and put one to sleep but I didn't know how their brains worked. I didn't know all the medical terms. I didn't know anything about the moral reflex or the Babinski reflex from just raising children. When I picked anthropology sociology and psychology all I heard was psychology and went oh cool that'll be fun I like twisted s***. I was not prepared to learn about Sigmund Freud or The Oedipus complex for that matter. Nevertheless, I had the hardest teacher in the school. He assigned the hardest work but he had the best personality of anyone there. I used to pick on him all the time. I swear he thought I had a crush on him or something. Nope, that was just my personality he knew I was joking, at least I think he did Lol, I spent a year and a half several missed days of school cuz here's the thing when you have four kids one of them is bound to be absent from their school at least once a week therefore so was I. I struggled a lot with assignments I mean it had been 14 years since I was in school I forgot everything it was like starting brand new. My math teacher used to put us all down and constantly say to us I don't know why I have to teach you this stuff. This is stuff you should have learned in grade four. To which my reply to her was always I haven't been in grade four in like 20 years so yeah there's that. She barely passed me. I think she just didn't want to see me again. To be honest with you she hated me. She didn't hide that fact. Truth be told I was a b**** to all my teachers. Looking back I wish I need to apologize to every single one of them because thanks to them I'm where I am today. I have severe depression and anxiety. I always had it but then, I wasn't medicated. I didn't think I needed it. I wanted to quit so many times because I was so stressed out with assignments and homework and due dates some days my brain just didn't want to work. Try having your due dates for homework and helping your kids with their homework on the side plus doing housework laundry cooking dinner and everything else that a full-time mother and housewife would do. It wasn't easy to juggle and I kicked myself in the ass many times wishing I had just finished when I was a teenager. A lot of what pushed me into finishing was my aunt's voice in the back of my head saying it's so important to finish school you don't even know we used to get in so many arguments cuz we were so alike but I was rebelling. We got in an argument so bad one day we started spewing hateful things at each other calling each other losers and so much more I don't even want to repeat it. so I constantly heard you're gonna be a loser in the back of my head every time I wanted to quit school. I believe that was my motivation to keep going, well that and my ability to tell my kids that I went back to school and why it's important that they stay in school in the first place. I didn't want to be a hypocrite. A year and a half after I started school I finally did it. I graduated and got my high school diploma signed and sealed. 100% authentic and hard work I owe all to myself and to the teachers that pushed me to my limits and sometimes even passed. When I first started my blog the first thing I had to think of was my niche then I had to find a domain name. I took a marketing and an entrepreneur class when I was in adult high and I didn't do great in this class and I didn't think I'd ever need did I tell you something I had no idea what a niche or a domain name was before I took those classes so thank you, Ms. T. I owe a big part of this to you. Also to all the friends I made when I went back to school. You were all my biggest support system. I don't think I could have done it without you. So many people came into my life in a year and a half that shaped who I am today. It's incredible to think that such a small chunk of my life made such a huge impact. For anyone questioning going back to school as an adult just do it, give it your all don't think twice because if I could do it so can you. You will feel so much better about yourself and it's so worth it. If you have any questions or need any help shoot me a message and I'd be more than happy to give you my advice. don't let other responsibilities hold you back from your dreams. Let your dreams make those other responsibilities a little easier.